8 Steps to Get Over, or Avoid, a Messy Breakup

By Katy Stites on August 13, 2013

Life’s hard.

We’ve all been there, The messy breakup; Or the potentially messy breakup. Someone had to say or do something to keep it from being peaceful, or tried keeping it peaceful but obviously had a tough time.

Here are 8 Steps to getting over a messy breakup. They are easy to say, and hard to do but I can guarantee they will help if you successfully follow them… or your money back…

1) Say Sorry, or Accept Sorry
If you are part of the reason the breakup got messy, say sorry. Forget your ego and give them a chance to forgive you. And if the other person apologizes for messing up, do your best to forgive them. You don’t have to date them or see them anymore,but for the sake of your and their well-being don’t carry around a grudge. You don’t want bumping into the other to ruin either party’s good day in the future.

2) Stay Busy

Working out is great way to relieve stress.

If you are having a hard time keeping your ex-significant other off your mind, fill that time with other things!
Work a few overtime hours, pick up a fun class, start a new TV series (one that preferably doesn’t remind you of them), start volunteering, whatever keeps you the most distracted!
In fact, I’ll be willing to bet there are some things you wanted to do that your partner was never that into. Now you have all the time in the world for those!

3) Make Time for Other People
Plenty of people spend a lot of time with their significant other. Whether it was a waste of time or you terribly miss those times, they are now over.
You can definitely benefit from hanging out with others. For one, it’s the best distraction. Spend time with friends you may have neglected, and meet new people who will make your life exciting again! You never know who you could meet…

4) Don’t dive into another Relationship
Many say it takes about half the time you dated someone to truly get over them. Every situation is a little different.
But whatever you do don’t start a new relationship before you are sure you have moved on.
A distraction can be useful, but don’t use the other person to avoid loneliness.
After all, it is crucial for one’s self esteem to be able to be happily single and independent.
If you have a crush shortly after the break-up, at least be honest with them about your emotions, which may or may not be on a roller coaster. All you can do is hope they are patient and understanding.

5)Forgive Yourself//Them
Sometimes people tend to play the blame game after a break-up. Especially after a messy breakup. The truth is that everyone is human and makes mistakes. If you made a mistake, all you can do now is learn from it, which goes both ways. Forgive them too and it will set you free.

6) Give Each Other Space.
Chances are at least one party is not over the break up. Be intelligent. If they are the type to post pictures of themselves with someone new/subtweet/make an immature status, delete them on your social media.
(Also, if you are that type, try to grow up. It’s forgivable in high school maybe, but not so much after that.)
Avoid places they might be, at first, if you think it will create negative feelings.
If you see them in person and don’t have anything nice to say for awhile, don’t say anything at all. It’s understandable.
If you really do have something you want to say, make sure you think it over for a couple days and understand exactly why you need to say it. Say what you need to say. Everything else you just have to…

7) Let Go.
Try not to think too much of the good times. Or the bad times. Neither thoughts will help you move on, but if you need to remind yourself to move on, think of the bad times and remember why you aren’t together anymore.
Let go of it all, especially negative emotions like spite, jealousy, and bitterness. Only then can you move on.

8) GO ON VACATION!
Duh. Who doesn’t love vacation. Whether it’s exploring a new place with family, re-exploring yourself in a new place, exploring you and your family’s place in a familiar space, or exploring a new space in a familiar place, get out there and enjoy the beautiful world! Or a resort! Eat all you want (for a week) and get fresh air or some rays. Just make sure you come back to the real world eventually.

You deserve this.

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