Your Guide to Moving Back in With Your Parents

By Ian Acosta on May 24, 2017

For many, graduation has come and gone (unfortunately). It is time to pack up, clean out your apartment, throw away all of your school materials, and head home.

For some or most, either by choice or forced to, this means moving back home with parents. After experiencing years of freedom and excitement, it can be quite a culture shock to suddenly move back home with the people who raised you for the first 18 years of your life. By and large, you have been self-sufficient, worked hard, managed your time, completed a degree, and experienced a large amount of self-direction for the past four years.

Parents who want you to be flexible to their schedule and not so accommodating to yours can seemingly impede on your freedoms a bit. What is the best way to deal with this? Here are a few strategies to keep post-grad life as sane as possible.

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Set a date to move out

Have a goal in mind of when to move out. Even if it will be one or two years down the line, having a date in mind in the back of your head will make the time pass and motivate you to reach it. This will involve some budgeting, no doubt. Do not just blow your paycheck on going out as soon as you get it. Put some aside for the probable loan payment as well as for an apartment fund.

Think about how much you see yourself reasonably spending per month when you do decide to move out. Consult a friend or financial professional to see how to best budget your monthly income to prepare for the big move out day. Set some goals, work toward them, and it will make living at home fly by.

Negotiate expectations

Whether you like it or not, you are now considered an adult. Please do not take this as permission to use the cringeworthy hashtag #adulting for doing basic responsibilities that come with life. You, in turn, should want to be treated like an adult from everyone, especially your parents. They, however, will no doubt see you as their loving, adorable, irresponsible child, no matter how old you may be. There needs to be some compromise here.

Of course, above all else, it is their house and their rules at the end of the day. While I have no doubt that you will respect that, they should respect you as well as a newly graduated adult. My advice would be to try to work out a parent/landlord compromise. They will most likely nag you to do household chores and be home at a reasonable time when you go out; however, this does not mean they need to know every single detail of your night like back in high school. Carry yourself like an adult and your parents will treat you like one. Be sure to do what is asked, but also remind them that you need your space as well.

Discuss money matters

Although it may be an awkward conversation to have, it needs to be had. Talk about what your parents will want you to help out with in terms of money. If they expect you to pay a few dollars here and there in rent, adjust your budget accordingly. This should not be an unreasonable expectation especially if you are now making money. I am sure that they will not make you pay an outrageous amount by any means but chip in what they ask. Suggest some ways you could help too outside of rent. Buy groceries, do chores, perform handiwork, etc.

Have outside support

It will be a very tough adjustment going from having all of your school friends in your apartment, dorm, and classes to living at home with parents and siblings. Talk with your college friends and other friends from home to see what their plan to adjust to living at home is. Everyone has to go through it. It is best to have friends to talk with about it to vent about any home frustrations you all may have to face.

Learn all you can

Whether you may realize it or not, you live with pretty wise people. Your parents have spent many a year being adults so be sure to learn all you can from them when it comes to life lessons and such. Learn some of your mom’s delicious recipes that you can take with you when you move out. Take note of some handy tips and tricks that your dad uses around the house. You have an immense amount of knowledge at your disposal. You would be foolish not to take advantage.

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