Keeping Up With the Cardigans
Dressing for September is similar to deciding where to eat for dinner; the possibilities are endless and neither will ever have an effect on your family supporting your decision to pursue a liberal arts degree.
Impromptu thunderstorms, unbearable heat waves, and the arctic tundra are all a roll-of-the-dice lending to the fact this month can never decide whether summer is still in swing or whether winter is coming (and apparently neither can the Starks).
No matter what the forecast says, Mother Nature has a mind of her own and will assure you the outfit you chose to wear out was the most ill informed decision of your life. To avoid this happening, I have compiled a list of good pointers to help you dress accordingly for the weather and not wear something that could eventually land you in the bottom two on “America’s Next Top Model.”
Layers will be your best friend this September. Only stop coating yourself with clothes when you feel the need to pee and realize it will take you a total of four hours to completely unravel your garments. Don’t worry about being too bundled for class, you’re a cool student and as the leader of all things cool you probably have one of those Lisa Frank roller backpacks that can also double as a suitcase; just be on the look out for weary students attempting to hop on for a joy ride in between classes.
Once comfortably swaddled like baby Jesus, you’ll be able to breathe a sigh of relief and laugh at all the other students who are caught in the rain with only a short skirt on. You may look like a mascot, but at least you don’t resemble Kirsten Dunst in “Spiderman” like the girl next to you does.
If you’re too afraid to face the day dressed in bulk and can’t decide whether the weather will be hot or cold, go for the in between. Uggs and jean shorts are the safe decision if you’re looking to say “my mom laid out my clothes until senior year of high school and I’m proud to have begun college having never seen any episodes of “What Not to Wear.”
Not only will you hold the capability of driving away any friends with even the slightest fashion sense, but you’ll also feel, and look, as happy as a middle schooler with unlimited cash flow shopping in Claire’s for the first time. If all else fails, at least have the knowledge the local Zumba class will willingly accept you in to their loving arms for reaching maximum capacity on the basic scale.
Overall, the only way to potentially survive the hot and cold personality of September is to dress in your cutest cardigans and tallest boots. You may get caught one day in an unpredicted blizzard, but at least your corpse will be stylish. Just try your hardest to plan ahead as best as you possibly can and remember that no matter how uncomfortable you feel in your outfit, there’s somebody somewhere who has also sweat through their shirt in class.
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